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Todd Layne Cleaners
One year ago tomorrow, I was sued for defamation and interference with contract by a laundromat located in my former apartment building. For a while, my fiancee and I were customers of Todd Layne Cleaners until we tired of its rude and incompetent service. Eventually, I came to the informed conclusion that Todd Layne Cleaners “sucks” and is “overpriced.”

For expressing these two opinions to the neighbors in my building, a creature named Todd Ofsink, the “Todd” in Todd Layne Cleaners, sued me. (You see, Todd is fortunate enough to have a brother, Darren, who owns a big Madison Avenue law firm called Guzov Ofsink. Darren Ofsink’s firm is representing brother Todd.)

In response to the lawsuit, I created a website called ToddLayneCleanersSucks.com where I documented the case and the incidents that led up to it. This caused Ofsink to increase the damages in his lawsuit; instead of suing me for $20,000, it became $300,000.

I generally don’t write about my personal life on this site, but I wrote about this case last October after the New York Post got wind of it. And now that the case is approaching its one year mark, I thought it was time for an update.

The case is still ongoing, oozing through the courts with all the speed of cold molasses.

Initially, the court threw out Ofsink’s defamation claim, upholding my constitutional right to express my opinion about his business. The court should have thrown out the interference with contract claim too; that claim was just a smokescreen for the dismissed defamation claim.

Why is the case still alive? Because courts are reluctant to dismiss a case before the plaintiff has had an opportunity to gather evidence. The evidence-gathering phase is called “discovery,” wherein each side is allowed to demand evidence from the other. After the discovery phase is complete, I will have an opportunity to move the court for summary judgment. If I am successful, the case won’t proceed to trial, but instead, will be dismissed.

In my discovery demands, I asked for several things, including financial records to support Ofsink’s claim that my criticism of his business caused him to lose hundreds of thousands of dollars. I also asked for the store’s security camera tapes, because Ofsink swore under oath that I attempted to disrupt his business by “simulating masturbation” within his store. Later, Ofsink tacitly admitted his statement was false by recasting his earlier characterization as merely a “euphamism.”

Ofsink misled the court by making false sworn statements under oath, which is why he refuses to turn over the store’s security camera tapes or anything else. He knows that if caught lying to the court, he could be subject to monetary sanctions, or even criminal prosecution for perjury.

The deadline to produce discovery was in mid-February. Not surprisingly, nearly half-a-year later, Ofsink still hasn’t produced any of the required documentation. (Meanwhile, I’ve responded to his discovery demands in good faith, turning over 116 pages of documents he requested.)

Ofsink’s excuses for violating his discovery obligations are comedic. The following gives you a sense of his petty antics. (My requests are at the top of each scan, followed by his response.)

As you can see from these responses, Ofsink isn’t even willing to turn over evidence documenting his own claims. His strategy is to drag this case out as long as possible, hoping that I will eventually buckle and sign a non-disparagement agreement. That’s what he demands in exchange for dropping the case.

In other words, Ofsink will only stop using his brother’s law firm to harass me for engaging in free speech if—and only if—I agree to sign away my right to criticize his business.

It ain’t gonna happen.

In the meantime, I’ve filed a motion asking the court to compel Ofsink to comply with discovery, and I’m awaiting the court’s decision. That’s where things stand now.

The wheels of justice grind slowly, and the cost of exercising one’s most basic rights can sometimes be quite high. But if people don’t stand up to the Ofsinks of the world, we won’t even have the right to criticize lousy service from our local cleaners.

For an overview of the case, visit ToddLayneCleanersSucks.com.

The old saying goes, when life hands you a lemon, make lemonade.

Well, sometimes, life hands you a bushel of lemons, a block of ice, a bag of sugar, a nice big pitcher, and a whole bunch of cups.

This happened to me recently, when I became the target of a lawsuit that goes to the heart of what it means to have the right to share your opinions with your fellow citizens.

For the past four years, in putting together the film Indoctrinate U, I investigated administrative abuses against free speech and free thought rights on college campuses. To me, the topic is of vital importance to our nation’s health.

If a generation of students graduates into a society riven by a worsening political divide, what would the effect on that society be if those students were never afforded the opportunity to engage in real, down-and-dirty debate in the one venue where people can pursue a life of the mind? Eventually, you end up with a society that fears free speech, because its citizens have gotten used to being protected from the uncomfortable aspects of hearing things that they vehemently oppose. By coddling students and attempting to shield them from reality by stifling certain speech, academia is directly contributing to a diminishing respect for free speech in the larger society.

On campus, administrators and student mobs do the dirty work of shutting down speech that falls outside what academics consider to be the realm of acceptability. Around the world, we see instances where governments, police and military forces put people to death for having the wrong thinking. These sorts of transgressions happen relatively infrequently in Western society, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a clear and present threat to free speech.

In hyper-litigious Western nations, courts are often the weapon used to shut people up. But instead of this weapon being wielded by the state, courts are used by corporations, non-profits, accused terrorists financers and even newly-invented religions to tamp down criticism of various kinds.

Out of necessity, while putting together Indoctrinate U, I immersed myself in trying to understand the legal ramifications of speech. I knew that the film would anger a lot of folks at institutions that have lawyers on retainer. I knew we could be targeted legally whether justified or not.

But it turns out, it wasn’t Indoctrinate U that got me dragged into court. It was a dispute with a dry cleaner, of all things.

Today’s New York Post, which heard about the case after the plaintiffs filed to have the case moved to New York Supreme Court, contains a short piece on the story.

I was originally sued for $20,000 for the words, “Todd Layne Cleaners sucks and is overpriced.” Admittedly, my words were juvenile and, to some, offensive. But as a statement of opinion—an opinion formed after a long string of negative experiences with this cleaner—it is quite clearly constitutionally protected speech.

But Todd Ofsink, the owner of the cleaners, sued me for expressing my well-grounded displeasure with his business. Fortunately for Ofsink, his brother Darren is an partner in the law firm of Guzov Ofsink. So he is getting an endless supply of legal work from his brother’s firm, presumably for free. Ofsink knows that I would have to pay to defend my right to criticize his business, so he figured I’d be an easy target. His attorney brother told me that if I signed a non-disparagement agreement—in effect, giving up the right to criticize his business—he would drop the lawsuit.

They were hoping that I would do what most people would do: sign the agreement, end the case, put it out of my misery, and not waste tens of thousands of dollars defending a right that’s guaranteed to me as a U.S. citizen.

I decided to try to fight the case myself, without an attorney representing me in court. I didn’t want to spend tens of thousands of dollars to defend a right that I already had, but I also thought it would be an interesting test. After all, I knew I wasn’t the only person who’s been sued for expressing displeasure with a business.

What would other people do in such a case? Would they fight it themselves? Or would they buckle under and sign away their rights to a bully? And if they decided to fight, is the legal system today even accessible to the individual, or has the law in our society become so professionalized and abstracted from daily life that individuals have no way to defend themselves?

This brings me back to the lemonade. Although this nuisance lawsuit has brought me much personal agitation, it also perfectly illustrates the troubles faced by many others. I could be a guinea pig going through this aggravating process to demonstrate whether or not the average citizen can navigate the legal process to defend the rights enumerated in constitutional law.

Morgan Spurlock subjected himself to a month of McDonald’s for Super Size Me. If I was going to be subjected months and months of a convoluted legal process, maybe some good could come out of it by incorporating the story into a film.

One of the things that inspired me when making Indoctrinate U was all the students whose academic careers were in jeopardy—simply for having the wrong views—who fought back and won. Most people end up backing down when confronted with a system aligned against them. Those were the stories we never heard, because the people involved went away quietly and defeated. But by putting some of the people who stood up and prevailed on screen, I hoped to encourage others to fight for their right to think freely. Little did I know that those same students would inspire me to defend my own rights of free speech.

Perhaps my story could serve as a lesson for others. Unfortunately, I don’t know what that lesson is, because the story isn’t over. I’m still fighting it in court, and Todd Ofsink, his attorney brother Darren, and their courtroom litigant Damien Matthew Bosco, keep trying to ratchet up the pressure.

After filing the original lawsuit against me, Ofsink found out through my court filings that I was a documentary filmmaker. He also discovered that I’m not exactly politically in tune with most of my fellow New Yorkers.

Suddenly, Ofsink filed a new motion with additional accusations that were not included in the original complaint. He claims, for example, that I “simulated masturbation in front of female employees.” But Ofsink also made the mistake of claiming to have security cameras covering the store, which allows me to make this challenge: put the security tape online. What the world will see is an angry former customer making a dismissive hand gesture after Todd Ofsink makes his initial threat to sue me.

Once he leaned about my filmmaking career, Ofsink also jacked up the amount of money he’s trying to take from me: now it’s $300,000!

I hate to tell them, but in all these years of service, I have still not received my first check from the Vast Conspiracy. Being a documentary filmmaker is not lucrative unless you can get Hollywood to distribute your films. And as I can tell you, that’s not easy for someone of my pursuasion. So if jacking up the cost of his attempt to use the legal system to extract more money from me, he won’t be too happy to hear about the state of my finances.

But I’m not convinced that their motivation is money. It seems clear to me that their maneuverings are calculated to pressure me into signing the non-disparagement agreement that they have now offered me twice. They are just trying to use the legal system to shut down legitimate criticism of their business.

Sorry, gentlemen, it’s not going to happen. I will not sign away my rights. If you insist on fighting this ludicrous case, then I will keep fighting it until I win. Your lawyers will lose to a guy representing himself with no legal degree, but who has the law on his side. In this country, I am still allowed to criticize businesses that provide lousy and rude service. I am still allowed to tell my neighbors all about it. So, you can either drop the case and save yourselves further embarrassment, or you can continue trying to put the screws to me and in the process give me a great story to tell the world.

Where will this end up? Who knows! All I know is that I wish it weren’t happening. But because it is, then maybe some other folks might benefit from watching my experience—whatever my experience ends up being.