1 August 2005 @ 5:26PM >> Esquire Magazine gives Dan Rather a platform to demonstrate what a corny relic sounds like.

29 June 2005 @ 12:21PM >> A columnist for Newsday (Long Island, New York) thinks that CNN should hire Dan Rather. Among the author’s arguments is that Dan Rather would bring “credibility” to CNN.

8 March 2005 >> How many times can Walter Cronkite gleefully fork the corpse of Dan Rather in a single interview? Find out.

Meanwhile:

It is barely six weeks since the U.S. President delivered his second inaugural address, a paean to liberty and democracy that espoused the goal of “ending tyranny in our world”. Reactions around the world ranged from alarm to amused scorn, from fears of a new round of “regime changes” imposed by an all-powerful American military, to suspicions in the salons of Europe that this time Mr Bush, never celebrated for his grasp of world affairs, had finally lost it. No one imagined that events would so soon cause the President’s opponents around the world to question whether he had got it right.

That debate is now happening, in America and beyond, as the first waves of reform lap at the Arab world. Post-Saddam Iraq has held its first proper election. In their own elections, Palestinians have overwhelmingly chosen a moderate leader. Hosni Mubarak, who for 24 years has permitted no challenge to his rule in Egypt, has announced a multi-candidate presidential election this year. Even Saudi Arabia is not immune, having just held its first municipal elections. Next time around, Saudi spokesmen promise, women too will be permitted to vote.

Not gonna gloat. Wouldn’t be prudent. Not at this juncture.

7 March 2005 >> Bogus memos may have been Dan Rather’s downfall, but it certainly wasn’t his first foray into outright political fraud. Apparently, in 1963, Dan Rather lied when he reported that a group of school children cheered the assassination of President Kennedy:

The tale was perfect for the moment, reinforcing the notion among distant media elites that Dallas was a reactionary “City of Hate.” It slyly played to a local audience, too: The school named was in upper-income University Park, one of two adjacent municipal enclaves that shared a school district and a reputation for fiercely protected, lily-white privilege.

So, if Rather’s four-decades-plus career is capped on each end by politically-motivated lies, it’s natural to wonder how many times in between he’s gotten away with it.

2 March 2005 @ 1:24PM >> As Dan Rather’s career comes to a close, it’s a good time to look back at some of his greatest hits.

28 December 2004 @ 2:16PM >> I recently received this joke in an e-mail:

Dan Rather and Peter Jennings, along with a U.S. Marine assigned to protect them, were hiking through the Iraqi desert one day when they were captured by terrorists. They were tied up, led to a village, and brought before the Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, the al Qaeda leader in Iraq.

Zarqawi said, “I am familiar with your western custom of granting the condemned a last wish; so, before we kill and dismember you, do you have any last requests?”

Dan Rather said, “Well, I’m a Texan; so I’d like one last bowlful of hot spicy chili.” Zarqawi nodded to an underling who left and returned with the chili. Rather ate it all and said, “Now I can die content.”

Peter Jennings said, “I am Canadian, so I’d like to hear the song ‘O Canada’ one last time.” Zarqawi nodded to a terrorist who had studied the Western world and knew the music. He returned with some rag-tag musicians and played the anthem. Jennings sighed and declared he could now die peacefully.

Zarqawi turned and said, “And now, Mr. U.S. Marine, what is your final wish?”

“Kick me in the ass,” said the Marine.

“What?” asked Zarqawi. “Will you mock us in your last hour?”

“No, I’m not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass,” insisted the Marine. So the leader shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the ass.

The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled out a 9mm pistol hidden in his cammies, and shot Zarqawi dead.

In the resulting confusion, he leapt to his knapsack, pulled out his M4 carbine, and sprayed the remaining terrorists with gunfire. In a flash, they were either dead or fleeing for their lives.

As the Marine was untying Rather and Jennings, they asked him, “Why didn’t you just shoot them? Why did you ask them to kick you in the ass?”

“What,” replied the Marine, “and have you assholes call me the aggressor?”

5 October 2004 @ 11:33PM >> It looks like CBS News won’t release the results of its inquiry into the forged documents it recently aired until after the election. Why? According to CBS president Les Moonves, “it should be done probably after the election is over so that it doesn’t affect what’s going on.”

So, let’s see: CBS airs phony documents intended to damage the Bush campaign. They don’t care whether that affects the election. But, because the investigation will undoubtedly discuss collaboration between CBS News staffers and the Kerry campaign, well, that bad news can wait until after the election. It could be damaging to Kerry.

As Dan Rather used to say inexplicably: Courage!

30 September 2004 >> For years, the media’s promise to news consumers has been, “trust us. What we say is true.” But after CBS News gets caught airing a fraud, it’s easy to wonder how many times we’ve been snookered before. We may never know, but one thing is clear: when reporters say their opinions don’t shape what they report, they’re deceiving you, plain and simple. If the news media wants to regain our trust, they’re going to have to level with us. More >>

13 June 2004 @ 1:25PM >> Dan Rather is upset about the amount of media coverage that Ronald Reagan’s death has been receiving:

“Even though everybody is respectful and wants to pay homage to the president, life does go on,” Mr. Rather told the Philadelphia Inquirer.

“There is other news, like the reality of Iraq,” said the “CBS Evening News” anchor. “It got very short shrift this weekend.”

Perhaps Rather thinks that the week of Reagan coverage has distracted the media from its real job: undermining President Bush in Iraq with months of wall-to-wall Abu Ghraib coverage.

The public, though, seems to disagree with Rather:

At Yahoo! searches for Reagan spiked 5,314% Saturday, the day he died, compared with the daily average. Since then, the portal has seen huge numbers of searches for information about Reagan’s funeral, scheduled for Friday, and his presidential library in Simi Valley, Calif. Lycos said that Reagan-related searches between Monday and Wednesday were 12 times what they were in the seven days before his death.

[...]

At America Online, more than 70% of 258,995 people — six times more than usual for an AOL political poll — who voted over the course of just 21 hours determined that Reagan was “one of the best” presidents ever.