Education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. And if you don’t, you get stuck in Iraq.John Kerry

Massachusetts Senator John Kerry, the Democrats’ choice for president last time around, is the subject of bi-partisan criticism for what sounded like a slap at American troops serving in Iraq. Kerry claimed his statement was a “botched joke,” and his first reaction was to attack anyone who criticized him for it.

A statement on his website attributed criticism to “assorted right wing nut-jobs” and “Republican hacks”:

If anyone thinks a veteran would criticize the more than 140,000 heroes serving in Iraq and not the president who got us stuck there, they’re crazy. This is the classic G.O.P. playbook. I’m sick and tired of these despicable Republican attacks that always seem to come from those who never can be found to serve in war, but love to attack those who did.

In Kerry-land, that’s apparently what passes for an apology. Meanwhile, the “assorted right-wing nut jobs” who asked criticized Kerry included such notable Republican hacks as Hillary Clinton and a number of other prominent Democratic office-seekers.

Kerry complains that the issue is a distration from an administration that “sent our brave troops to war without body armor,” forgetting that he voted for the war and then voted against a package funding the war. (As he infamously said in 2004, “I actually did vote for the $87 billion before I voted against it.”)

Kerry also criticizes “Republicans [who] want to debate straw men because they’re afraid to debate real men,” although it seems like—as in 2004—Kerry still wants to debate Kerry. James Taranto noticed this little contradiction in Kerry’s appearance on the Don Imus radio show yesterday:

KERRY: The people who owe an apology are people like Donald Rumsfeld, who didn’t send enough troops, who didn’t listen to the generals, who has made every mistake in the book.

[...]

IMUS: What do you think—I understand about the Bush folks. But Senator John McCain, he seems to think—he seems to agree with the Bush administration about your comments. And you know him, obviously, better than I do, but I know him pretty well. And he probably knows what you meant, too.

KERRY: I’m sorry that John McCain has said what he said. John McCain’s been a friend for a long time. But I have to tell you, I think John McCain is wrong about this.

John McCain has been a cheerleader for a policy that is incorrect. John McCain says we ought to send another 100,000 troops over there. First of all, we don’t have another 100,000 troops. Secondly, if you send them over there, it’s going to do exactly what’s already happened, which is attract more terrorists and more jihadists. Our own generals are telling us that it’s the numbers of troops that are the problem.

There you have it. John Kerry, the man who the Democrats hoped would become president in 2004, articulates his party’s position on the war perfectly. He criticizes the president for not sending enough troops in the exact same exchange that he criticizes a proposal to send more troops. When it comes to the War on Terror, the Democrats seem to stand for nothing besides “no.”

It kind of makes you wonder what the Democrats will do if they ever take the White House. Without someone like President Bush to reflexively oppose, how will they know what positions to take?

In the meantime, for the next two years, President Bush should announce his foreign policy positions to be the exact opposite of whatever he truly believes. Maybe he can trick the Democrats into unwittingly supporting what he really wants.