The Associated Press reports:

A judge said a 5-foot-1 man convicted of sexually assaulting a child was too small to survive in prison, and gave him 10 years of probation instead.

His crimes deserved a long sentence, District Judge Kristine Cecava said, but she worried that Richard W. Thompson, 50, would be especially imperiled by prison dangers.

“You are a sex offender, and you did it to a child,” she said.

But, she said, “That doesn’t make you a hunter. You do not fit in that category.”

[...]

“I want control of you until I know you have integrated change into your life,” the judge told Thompson. “I truly hope that my bet on you being OK out in society is not misplaced.

The problem with Judge Cecava’s logic is, once we start exempting People of Compactness from going to jail, eventually the only people in jail will be People of Altitude, who will then file a class action lawsuit prohibiting all jail time, saying that it discriminates unfairly against the tall.

Come to think of it, doesn’t this also insult People of Compactness by saying that they’re not tough enough to handle time behind bars? I wouldn’t want to be standing near Gary Coleman if you were to tell him he’s too much of a wimp for jail.