Did I just receive an e-mail from Nick Coleman?

Yesterday, I forwarded Mr. Coleman a link to my article entitled Nick Coleman: Media Meltdown Case Study. Although I have not yet heard back from Mr. Coleman, I did receive a bizarre e-mail from a sender who routed the message through an “anonymizing” service. What struck me was the similarity between the anonymous e-mail and Mr. Coleman’s writing. The e-mail appears indented and in italics, with my comments interspersed:

From: anonymous

Subject:

Date: 30 December 2004 3:09:03 AM EST

Your Media Meltdown Case Study is full of holes. Everything Mr. Coleman has said about those Right Wing air/wind bags at Powerline is correct.

My story is full of holes, although precisely where those holes are located is not stated. Also, the PowerLine guys are apparently both air and wind bags; a single-bag insult wasn’t sufficient to convey their bagginess, I guess.

The sender also makes the bold claim that everything Mr. Coleman said about those PowerLine bags is correct. One of Coleman’s claims is that PowerLine “is the spear of a campaign aimed at making Minnesota into a state most of us won’t recognize. Unless you came from Alabama with a keyboard on your knee.” Coleman cites no evidence for this conspiratorial “campaign”, but apparently, Alabama is not a state that he would recognize. Whether this is a sad commentary on our educational system or evidence of judgmental provincialism on Coleman’s part is an exercise left for the reader.

If you’re keeping score at home, in only two sentences, there were two assertions made without any backing and two ad hominem attacks directed at PowerLine (assuming you count each bag reference separately). So far, that’s a rather Colemanesque ratio.

The mysterious e-mail continues:

I think the more likely scernerio [sic] of a meltdown is in your own backyard. Why don’t you keep the focus on yourself.

There’s a meltdown in my backyard, apparently. The writer didn’t elaborate on what this means, so I had to try and figure it out for myself. I looked out my back window at the concrete and barbed wire and determined that none of it was flammable. Crisis averted.

And as far as the suggestion to keep the focus on myself, that would suit me fine. I’ve got a film project to promote, and any additional attention would be most welcome. (When your name isn’t Wonkette, you have to work at getting noticed!) If the anonymous writer has any ideas for keeping the focus on myself, I’m open to suggestions.

The final paragraph begins with a series of rapid-fire insults:

Their blog is ridiculous, silly, vituperating and embarrassing, all in one fell swoop.

In the past, I’ve been ridiculous, silly and embarrassing, and I will even admit to some youthful vituperation. But to manage all four in one fell swoop, well... that must be one hell of a show. I’ve gotta meet these PowerLine guys!

The closing of the e-mail is odd:

What a bunch of crap...now what is your story? Are you just brown nosing for “points with the boys” or is their [sic] something more to it?

Apparently, one can’t express an opinion without it amounting to either “brown nosing” or “something more”. If that’s the case, then it makes me wonder about Coleman. Where is his nose? What’s the secret agenda at play when he expresses his opinions? Or is it just the folks who aren’t part of the traditional media that must be up to something shady when we exercise our First Amendment rights?

Now, I don’t want anyone to think I’m claiming that Nick Coleman wrote this e-mail; to do so would be to make an accusation without any evidence. And we all know that to be below journalistic standards.

Still, the e-mail does manage to pull off a hat trick that I’m sure Mr. Coleman would appreciate:

• Angry tone? Check.
• Unfounded assertions? Check.
• Delusions of conspiring enemies? Check.

In the years that I’ve been editing Brain Terminal, I’ve gotten a lot of hate mail. This was the very first time, out of many tens of thousands of e-mails, that I’ve ever gotten an anonymous e-mail. Even the people sending me threats had the guts to do it from real accounts. So it is strange that the sender of this rather tame e-mail felt the need to hide behind an anonymous remailer.

If Nick Coleman did send this e-mail, then he’s more web savvy than I thought. I wouldn’t have expected someone who’s so clueless about blogs to know about anonymizers.

And if Mr. Coleman didn’t send it, then I have a message for the person who did: if you ever find yourself out of work, contact the Minneapolis Star-Tribune. You’re perfect for them.